Irresponsible Oxford Uni Student Pressured To Admit Poo To Save Mates Splitting £1,000 Fine

Irresponsible Oxford Uni Student Pressured To Admit Poo To Save Mates Splitting £1,000 Fine

By Gavin Mackintosh-

An irresponsible Oxford University student was pressured by his mates to admit leaving a trail of faeces on the floor, after his mates pressured him to save them forking out money for his foolish act.

The unnamed student eventually came forward as the alleged poo culprit, confessing on a post to have fatally attempted to “follow through on a fart”, after residents were given 24 hours to clean up the poo or share a £1,000 fine for an external cleaning company to come in and resolve poo-gate.

The poo was left abandoned on the floor of a communal bathroom, but following rumours that a university staff was planning to arrange for the poo to be cleaned up in order to impose the fine on the students collectively, the culprit owned up anonymously and cleaned the poo.

The student had  irresponsibly left the poo on the floor and disappeared until all students were threatened with the huge fine. He has still not been publicly identified.

The incidence took place in the ground floor bathroom of Durham Building II, one of the adjoining buildings on the main site of University College, where all first year students are housed.

In a social media post last night, the College JCR president vowed to do “everything in my power to bring the perpetrator of this egregious crime to justice”.

“No stone will be left unturned,” they declared.

Unsightly Traces

Traces of the poo had been left on the bathroom bench as well as the floor.

The highly forensic investigation concluded: “Judging by the direction of flow, the perpetrator ran out of the area while the episode was ongoing. I identified several examples of what are certainly human footsteps leading out of the area. Toe analysis shows that the perpetrator was barefoot when the crime occurred.”

Brightest

Oxford university students are one the very brightest of their cohorts in the entire country, most of the cleaning A’s right from their GCSE’s to their A levels.

However, research also shows that a majority of such students are from well off backgrounds and were supported by high level tuition throughout both their G.C.S.E’s and A levels. Many have parents who hire tutors for up to £80 an hour, and additionally support their children in academic development,  supplying them with extracurricular books to read, and going as far as offering them incentives to do well with fulfilling rewards awaiting them at the end of their studies, if they deliver.

Some analysts say privileged backgrounds of this type sometimes breeds arrogance in many students that attend oxford,  often making them snobby and adopting a superiority complex which can lead to irresponsible behaviour.

An Oxford university student anonymously told this publication:  The university was serious about imposing the fine in what would have been presented as a collective responsibility, since it would be down to students to identify the culprit and get him to clear his mess.

‘Incidents like that this always lead to whispers among students who will either no the culprit or have heard who the culprit is or likely to be from what they have gathered.

I think the student was generally not feeling well and perhaps drunk at the same time, but this behaviour is not representative of students a t this university.

The accommodation and facilities officer at University College, where the incident took place, wrote to students yesterday morning telling them “the repulsive behaviour” would not be tolerated and “goes beyond the bounds of what could be considered reasonable”.

Shane Pledge, added his cleaning staff would not be cleaning up the mess and they will refuse to do any cleaning in the entire building until “the culprit comes forward”. There were later rumours that the authorities were planning to clean up the mess and impose the fine, after authorities were themselves accused of being irresponsible themselves, if they left the poo there without ensuring it was cleaned.

All the residents were given 24 hours to clean up the poo or share a £1,000 fine for an external cleaning company to come in and resolve poo-gate.

University College, founded in 1249, is one of Oxford’s oldest colleges and is home to 400 students.

Traces of the poo had been left on the bathroom bench as well as the floor.

The highly forensic investigation concluded: “Judging by the direction of flow, the perpetrator ran out of the area while the episode was ongoing.

“I identified several examples of what are certainly human footsteps leading out of the area. Toe analysis shows that the perpetrator was barefoot when the crime occurred.”

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