By Andrew Young-
Russell Brand has admitted being alienated and abused as a child, during an interview with a celebrity online magazine.
In an exclusive interview with The People.com ,Brand who tomorrow releases his new book ,has created his own version of the 12 steps for recovery used in programs like Alcoholics Anonymous.
Brand who beat drug and alcohol addiction over 14 years ago, also revealed a number of childhood traumas that affected his mindset and may have contributed to his drug abuse. Brand claims he was abused by someone he refused to name, made reference to the fact his mother was stricken with cancer, and his father was distant, following his divorce with his mum.
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“[Now] I don’t struggle with [addictive] urges because the program I live by helps me to remain serene and prevents those urges from arriving.” “If I feel those urges — even though I don’t feel them so often because I’m working the program — I talk to other people and I do stuff for other people and I meditate and pray. There’s a whole sort of series put in place for when I feel those urges.”
Russell Brand says his addiction to drugs, porn, alcohol, food, and sex was a reflection of other issues in his life. Brand’s book describes the several uncomfortable confrontations he had to have with himself and with other people to overcome his problems.
According to the book, during Step Four, he spent two straight days writing down everything that had ever “f—ed” him up. He makes reference to abuse, his mother’s cancer diagnosis when he was a child, and his relationship with his father and stepfather.
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“I was touched as a child and I felt the warping, like flexed glass, not entirely unpleasant, it was, after all, attention, but I knew it was a glitch, like a memory I was waiting to have, like a stone on the path that I knew I would not pass but pause to pick up and carry with me, uneasily in my pocket,” Brand writes.
Brand chooses not to reveal his abuser, keeping that secret for reasons best known to him.
TRANSGRESSION
“Finding ways to incorporate this transgression into my understanding of the world, stitching it into the fabric of my understanding. ‘Mum is ill a lot.’ ‘They say I am bad.’ ‘My dad does not like me.’ ‘I am not safe.’ ‘I don’t like school.’ ‘I don’t belong.’ ‘People don’t like me.’ ‘I made Mummy ill.’’
Brand’s claim not to have liked school is sharply contrasted with his sharp intellectual brain that has made him a multiple author and articulate speaker. His self reflection as a ”bad” guy seems to be a product of his poor relationship with his distant father combined with the misfortune of having a mother who suffered from long term illness.
”I am bad. Until chocolate and porn and self-harm seem like sanctuary from the gentle unbearable pain. And as we walk along we collect and collate the familiar, the path appears before our feet as we walk and we move further from home until we are too far away to recall that we ever had a home.”
“I don’t know whether or not events in your life send you into addiction because a lot of people have had very different lives and haven’t become addicts, so I think it’s difficult to say,” Brand explained.
CONNECTION
“The one thing I feel young people need in order to not become addicts is a connection with people who will speak to them honestly and truthfully — ongoing, open relationships with people where you can talk honestly about your feelings. I feel if you don’t get that as a kid it can be quite difficult.”
“I’m also careful to not sound like I’m judging my parents who did a good job,” he continues. “I was the sort of person who was likely to have addiction issues. I have that type of personality. I also think that there were lots of personal circumstances that meant that I felt alienated, which created a sort of perfect crucible for addictive tendencies.”
Brand movingly says that Recovery has helped him make amends with his parents and stepfather, as well as other people like past girlfriends. This is especially important because his mother is currently undergoing chemotherapy for her sixth cancer diagnosis.
“The reason my relationship is a lot healthier with my parents now is because I don’t really have any expectations. They are what they are – lovely, flawed people like me,” he explained. “I’m much more available [to my mum] than when I was using drugs or even when I was sort of consumed with fame. I’m much more present for her and able to be of use to her.”
Brand says he can better “commune with [his] feelings” because he’s surrendered himself to belief in a “Higher Power.” This change has also allowed him to reach out to ex-girlfriends.
“My amends to my parents and a number of ex-girlfriends … consisted of a frank, quiet apology and a commitment to be a different man going forward,” he writes.
CHANGE
Brand says he has“changed a great deal” as a partner since younger years. He married Laura Gallacher last month in an intimate ceremony with their baby daughter in attendance.
“I don’t think I’d be able to have the relationship if I didn’t have the program because I wouldn’t be in an emotional and spiritual position to commit to family life,” Brand says when asked how the program has affected his relationship with his wife and their daughter. “[The program helps me to] look at my wife as an independent person. It’s not her job to take care of me emotionally or physically. I don’t take stuff personally.”
NURTURE
”In the past I thought relationships were about making me feel good, or making me feel punished, or warped ideas like a lot of people [have],” he adds. “Now I have a guiding template, a guiding form, that I’m aiming towards. It means that in my relationship I’m a lot less selfish than I’ve been in past relationships. As a parent my job is to nurture and to be sometimes unbelievably patient.”
Patience is a virtue, and Brand’s acknowledgment of this as a necessary charcteristic of good parenthood is immediately impressive. Every child needs a patient father prepared to deliver good quality nurturing.
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