By Lucy Caulkett And Chris Williamson-
Irresponsible parenting is connected to a lot of self harming that goes on in the Uk.
Self harming describes a situation in which distressed individuals harm themselves by piercing their skin with sharp objects like knives or scissors as a means of expressing their frustration with their lives. Research conducted by The Eye Of Media.Com revealed that 80% of individuals who self harm have suffered from poor upbringing due to either substance misuse or sheer irresponsibility of parents.
85% of self harming individuals spoken to over a six month period between January and June revealed a background characterized by drug abuse, alcoholism, prostitution, and infidelity. Some children came from homes in which all the above forms of dysfunctions were present in their homes. The information was obtained as part of a fact gathering from research conducted in 2017 into drug addiction, and the factors that contributed to the trapped experience in the lives of addicts. Most individuals who self harm also have alcohol or drug addictions, many suffer from dependencies of both habits. Parents involved in regular domestic abuse in the presence of children or who spend their money on drugs and alcohol at the expense of their child’s joy contribute to a feeling of misery and rejection in their children.
75% of children spoken to said decisions of one of their mother to leave their father and pursue another relationship had affected their childhood and mindset very much. One self harming individual of 31 from Enfield North London, who didn’t want to be named said seeing her mother cry night after night after her father left her mother destroyed her teenage years. ”I was only 12 at the time and seeing my mother cry night after night killed me. My mother started drinking more and I started experimenting with alcohol that same year. By the time I was 13, I was a big drinker myself. I bumped into my dad with this other woman on a couple of occasions and he pretended not to see me, but this set my heart alight. I immediately knew there was no way I could finish school, so would bunk classes and eventually got expelled when I was 14 for drinking on the premises. I started smoking cannabis when I was 14 became pregnant when I was 15 for this guy who was a crack addict. At the time I wanted to be loved, so tried crack just to be accepted. I now know it was the worst decision I ever made.
The woman’s mother eventually got with a man who was a regular cocaine user, but he could not tolerate her daughter who always needed money for cigarettes and alcohol. He eventually asked the woman’s mother to kick he rout, and she was out of the home at 15. Now she doesn’t even know where her mother is, but she is a written off drug addict and prostitute on the streets of North London who needs help. The Eye Of Media.Com offered to try and locate her mother, but she declined our efforts. In other situations, self harming individuals have said they were driven to it after their mother took their partner from them. In one bizarre scenario, a young girl of 22 from Mile End, East London told The Eye Of Media.Com of how she was driven to self harming because her mother totally neglected her after going off with her new boyfriend on one occasion she brought him to her home. ”My mother is such a slag she fumed. She has ruined my life. It is the second time my mother has gone off with a man I brought to the house and it makes me feel I am just not good enough for anyone. She kicked me out of the house after I swore at her for taking my man, but how did she expect me to feel or react?
Her mother has now moved house to another location with a man who had visited her home with her daughter. Behaviour like this is awful and terrible. Parents who behave in this manner play a causative role in the destruction of their children’s future. It is no excuse for an individual to throw their lives away just because of an irresponsible parent, but not all individuals have the level of resistance needed to get on with their lives positively in the face of such hard feelings. Parents who were never there for their children must realize the damage they are doing to them. 40% of the self harming individuals we spoke to suffered from strained relationships with both of their parents, and 45% of them had either lost their parents to death or had no contact at all with their parents.
48% of respondents said they were not in receipt of any professional help, many of them saying they had been placed on long queues even to receive counselling. Most have resorted to more drink and drugs, shoplifting, and for many, a life in and out of prisons. The Eye Of Media.Com will be liaising with counselors to help some of these individuals get the help they desperately need, as well as using some of our own internal expertise to help many of such individuals address their problems. No individual should have to face very challenging mental issues caused by irresponsible parents on their own.