BY GABRIEL PRINCEWILL
The announcement that Cheryl Fernandez-Versini is to divorce her French husband after 18 months of marriage is disappointing news which only flags up a number of questions.
Why Cheryl, who not long ago split up with footballer, Ashley Cole, decided to marry again only to so cruelly betray her marriage vows remains a wonder. If she may be reminded, marriage vows embody a public declaration and commitment to stick it through thick and thin, ”for better or for worse”, ”in sickness and in health”, ”till death do us part”.
This ostensibly irreversible contract between two lovers can inevitably be broken where one partner has persistently infringed the reasonable expectations of the other by cheating, being violent, or other transgressions that may understandably provoke a decision to break a vow deemed solemn in the context of what marriage is supposed to mean. Ideally, both parties will seek mediation, counselling, and do their best to revive the marriage, though sometimes the flame is simply no longer burning.
Sad as this is, it begins to reflect really badly on one when a second marriage breaks down not long after it was instituted. In fact, it borders on foolishness if the person who ends the second marriage is the same as the first since it starts to question the judgement of the one ending matters. Football star,Ashley Cole,
was a proven cheat but Cheryl knew footballers generally have a tendency to cheat and so must take responsibility for her choice to fall in love and marry one. This is not saying all footballers should be tarred with the same brush, all it implies is that each individual must take responsibility for the chances they take. Taking responsibility does not make one blameworthy for an eventual breakdown in a relationship, but it demonstrates an acknowledgment that the undesirable breakdown was reasonably foreseeable as more than a strong possibility.
Footballers are flash and filthy rich, in the case of Ashley Cole, many women consider him a good looking man too. Football players are not known for resisting female advances, on the other hand they are known for initiating advances to many females even when they are married. The clamor for footballers by today’s women seems to turn the brains of footballers crazy, such that many of them loose all sense of standards and morality The risks were there from the outset, but beautiful Cheryl-well accomplished in her own right- could not resist the temptation. She went for Ashley Cole, and the high flying England player blew it big time! Following her divorce to Cole, she should have chilled out and allowed plenty of time for reflection. Instead, she quickly fell in love with Fernandez Versani and took that big vow again. Did the vow mean anything, and should it have been recognized?
QUICK MARRIAGE
The very attractive x factor judge is known to have pursued a quick marriage, when she married the French entrepreneur after just 3 months of meeting him. This move has been adjudged naive by many observers, in light of the recent break up with cheating love rat, Ashley Cole. Indeed, some of the best marriages have emerged from random encounters with the significant other after a short time together, but this should be seen as the exception and not the rule. Three months is unquestionably too short a period to make a life time commitment, even though a sparking romance between two individuals can sometimes be so strong as to warrant exemption from the conventional rules of guidance and good practice.
However, when a celebrity woman like Cheryl vows to stick with someone for better or worse and till death do them part, and breaks her vow twice, you have to ask whether she was sincere in the making of those vows, or whether she knows what marriage actually means.
The x factor judge has begun formal legal proceedings by filing paperwork which cites irreconcilable differences between her and partner Jean-Bernard. However, just how irreconcilable the differences between them are remain questionable. Cheryl says her husband is too jealous and questions her company with other men. There is nothing wrong with women having male friends, but there has to be some amicable way of dealing with such issues with your partner when this becomes a problem. In fact, such matters should have been contemplated before marriage occurred, and there should always be room for compromise.
The former Girls Aloud Singer concedes marrying too soon according to reports of an insider to a national tabloid, however this later realization is not good enough. She was old enough to know this from the outset, and if her judgement was distorted then, it probably is equally distorted now even in her decision to end the marriage instead of work through it. Her dumped husband probably has a few lessons to learn from this himself and may actually be guilty as charged by the beautiful and famous woman he elected as a long term wife. However, their short lived dalliance is a grim reminder of the need to closely scrutinize a potential future partner, and allow ample time before making a life time decision.
In retrospect, the decision by Cheryl Fernandez Versini to marry her husband was flawed and not really a true marriage or she would not have ended it yet. It was just a label she put to it in an attempt to retrieve the marriage she initially hoped for when she tied the knot with Ashley Cole. On New Year’s Eve, she posted a message on Instagram saying was “happy to see the back” of 2015. She wrote: “You have taught me a lot but I am happy to see the back of you! Happy New Year everyone.
“I hope this year brings you everything you wished for and is filled with happiness and fulfillness”. Let’s hope she doesn’t go for a third marriage;if she does, we will be the first to shout ”foul”!
