By Lucy Caulkett-
A number of UK mothers are struggling to raise their rebellious teens, the eye of media.com reports today.
The eye of media/com has received over 50 emails in December from single mothers asking for advice over how to handle their teens.Majority of the mails have been in response to articles on this site about problem teenagers in schools and violent teenagers committing crime.
One UK single mother mailed twice, asking ” do you guys write articles condemning teens without proposing effective suggestions going forward”? The woman who claims to be from Gants Hill
did not leave her name and has failed to respond to an email sent to the one she sent. Her initial mail highlights her plight in keeping her 14 year old son at home or in school. ”My 14 year old son always runs away from school and hangs with the wrong crowd, she says. He refuses to stay at home to do any homework and calls me horrible names whenever I challenge him on this. I end up having to call the police several times, but it is becoming a vicious cycle because he just won’t stay at school or stay at home. He always wants to have sleep overs at his friend’s house, but this is not something I want to encourage”. Any suggestions’?’
She has raised her teenager on her own from birth and his father has never been there for him. Absentee fathers create a huge psychological problem for their children, and leave a big void in their lives. Children who do not have their fathers in their lives will psychologically feel inferior to their friends who have a father figure, but more importantly they will miss out on so much. The eye of media.com is not an aunty agony site or a dear deidre section. However, we endeavour to report and analyse public interest issues we know about. Admin has asked the woman to send as much detail as possible about the history of the child and the family to enable a fuller evaluation as well as suggestions. Problem teenagers has long been a problem for many families in the western world, particularly where the father is absent. It is difficult to imagine any automatic recipe for eliminating the problems presented by rebellious teenagers.
Many of those UK single mothers who have mailed the eye of media.com have been replied to, but a number of outstanding mails requiring response are yet to be responded to. However, full details of the problem and the history of the family and teenager concerned is necessary before a tailored advice or suggestion can be made. The eye of media.com have a task orientated team who are willing to look closely into every information received and discuss the serious issues faced by single mothers with problematic teenagers. The team will happily sometimes intervene by sending some of our writers to various families, sometimes teaming up with top counsellors to assist with practical steps. The police are limited in what they can do apart from arresting teenagers once they have broken a law.
Every situation, every child, and every story is different. Each situation will need to be dealt with according to the facts, and teenagers vary widely from person to person., Many times, the missing element is having a male figure in their lives, someone responsible who can be a role model of some sort. Not all men can fill in this void for every child, much will depend on the child and the nature of the child’s issues and rebellious attitude. Some children have spoken about children being physically violent to them, a worrying experience for any parent to have. Raising children properly is an extremely important thing because they will become future parents, and their attitude and principles could affect the next generation, as is happening now.
It must be said that having an absentee father is not an excuse for any child to behave irresponsibly and stress their mother out. Some children with single mothers are the best children any parent would want.
A lot often depends on how the parent raises the child, and the sort of child the individual is. However, every child needs the love and discipline of a responsible father for their complete development. An irresponsible father is no good, and many absentee fathers are irresponsible, that’s why they are completely absent from their child’s lives. The ideal scenario wil, have both parents of every child living together in a relationship, but we obviously don’t live in an ideal world. The next best thing is for a father who has moved on to a different relationship to continue to spend some time with their natural child, and remember them with birthday and Christmas presents.
The eye of media.com successfully compelled three fathers over the Christmas period to send Christmas presents to their children, despite being in new relationships. Two of them initially threatened us with court action, claiming they were not public figures or celebrities, but met tough opposition from our editor who insisted there was a public interest is exposing fathers in new relationships who completely cut themselves from their children without good reason. Raising teens in Britain or many parts of the western world is not an easy thing, the challenge being more pronounced in the case of many single mothers. Some mothers claim to have tried everything they know, but are faced with continuous opposition from stubborn teenagers who are too eager to have things their way.