By Sheila Mckenzie-
Parents of children born in December, the festive season brings a unique set of challenges that extend far beyond simply managing the holiday rush. The proximity of a birthday to Christmas creates a complex dilemma: how to make the child feel special and celebrated without merging the two major events into a single, diluted celebration?
This ongoing struggle involves financial pressures, logistical hurdles, and a deep-seated fear that the December-born child will feel perpetually short-changed or overlooked, a concern validated by research suggesting these individuals receive fewer gifts over their lifetime.
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The primary challenge lies in the child’s perception of fairness, especially if they have siblings with birthdays in other months. Children are highly attuned to equity in gift-giving, and a combined “Chrismukkah” present, no matter how valuable, often translates to one less celebration day and a feeling of being less important than their peers.
Research by the online marketplace Not On The High Street highlighted this sentiment, finding that 67% of those surveyed considered December the worst month for a birthday, with 75% reporting they tended to receive joint Christmas and birthday presents. Over half (55%) admitted to feeling disappointed or underwhelmed by the quantity of gifts received. These statistics underscore the emotional weight parents carry, striving to counteract a feeling of being an “inconvenient” birthday.
Parents often report “guilt” and “pressure” as they manage these expectations alongside general holiday financial strain. As one parent noted, the goal is to “make sure [the child] knows that there are some really good things about being born around Christmas,” while simultaneously avoiding the pitfalls that can make the day feel like an afterthought.
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Beyond the gifts, the logistics of a December birthday can be a nightmare. Planning a party becomes a strategic operation that begins as early as September.
Popular venues are often booked months in advance for corporate Christmas events, making finding a suitable, non-festive location difficult and expensive.
Between competing family obligations, holiday travel, and seasonal illnesses, low turnout for parties is a common and disheartening problem, especially for birthdays that fall between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Day.
The festive atmosphere starts earlier every year in Britain, with decorations appearing in shops and homes in November. This pervasive holiday cheer can easily overshadow a child’s special day unless parents make a concerted effort to keep Christmas out of the birthday celebration.
One common parental strategy is to host a “half-birthday” party in June, offering a summer celebration free from the December chaos, allowing for outdoor activities and better attendance.
The “double presents” issue is arguably the most contentious. Parents face the constant temptation to combine gifts, particularly for a larger, more expensive item, which they may justify as a pragmatic financial decision. However, child psychologists and parents who grew up with December birthdays strongly advise against this practice.
Key gift-giving rules for parents, as highlighted in various forums and articles, include a number of precautions. Parents are advised to never present one item as both a Christmas and birthday gift. Children will notice the difference compared to siblings, fostering resentment.
Separate Wrapping Paper: This simple detail is crucial. Birthday gifts should use birthday paper, not the Christmas-themed roll lying around, a practice that a quarter of December babies reported left them annoyed and upset.
Birthday decorations should be used to make their day feel unique, rather than letting it get lost in the existing holiday decor. Some parents even use a “birthday tree” adorned with balloons and streamers instead of traditional Christmas decor on the day. Since friends and family may be busy or traveling during the actual holiday season, consider holding the main party a few weeks earlier or later, or even a “half-birthday” party in June.
This ensures a good turnout and a dedicated focus on the child. Parents are also advised to actively talk about the upcoming birthday throughout the month to give it the same build-up as birthdays at other times of the year. It also helps to follow the child’s lead: Ask them how they want to celebrate and listen to their feelings about having a December birthday. Their input will help ensure the celebration feels personal and meaningful to them.
If family members can’t gather on the precise date, parents are advised to find a time that works and still have a small, dedicated celebration (e.g., cake and a song) on the actual birthday.
A conscious and well rounded parent should strive to give the same number of gifts you would for a child with a mid-year birthday. The “Want, Need, Wear, Read” strategy is one way to manage quantity and budget without short-changing the child. They should also dedicate specific times and spaces solely to the birthday.
This could involve creating a “birthday room” with its own decorations or celebrating the birthday during a specific set of hours, separate from Christmas festivities. It is advisable to Create non-Christmas traditions that are specific to the birthday, such as choosing the day’s menu, a special annual outing to a pantomime, or breakfast in bed.
Family and friends should be proactively informed about the ground rules; which is emphatically for there to be no joint gifts, use appropriate wrapping paper, and acknowledge the day as a distinct event. Children should also be reminded of the inherent advantages, such as always being off school or work on their birthday, and being surrounded by family.
The challenges of having a December-born child are real, but with conscious effort and a commitment to keeping the two celebrations distinct, parents can mitigate the “December dilemma.” The goal, ultimately, is to ensure the child feels as seen and celebrated as any other, reminding them that their birthday is not an extension of the holiday season, but a special day all their own.
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