By Sammie Jones-
The former partner of murdered backpacker, Grace Millane, has written a statement to Auckland High Court about their sex life when she was alive.
The purpose of the statement is to give jurors hearing the murder case a good idea of what the late university graduate was comfortable with in the bedroom.
The former boyfriend who for legal reasons cannot be named said: “When we researched it we knew the word was asphyxiation.
“Grace and I discussed keeping hands wide and on the side of the neck, never on the front.
“Grace and I would have a safe word most of the time which we had discussed, something like “turtle” or something ridiculous. Grace and I used a tapping practice too. If Grace tapped me three times then it would stop.
“Grace would tap out maybe one in four times.
“Grace would be sure to do this and I trusted that anytime it was too much for Grace she would do this. Grace and I were careful to discuss not only the physical but the psychological aspects to practising BDSM.”
Dr Garavan said the alcohol, in conjunction with the choking, was “an iceberg making its way into the shipping lane”.
“It very likely has become an important indirect player in causing death,” he said, explaining that being drunk could turn off a “safety valve” which would normally trigger someone to fight for breath.
Dr Garavan, who examined hundreds of photographs of Grace’s body, agreed the primary cause of death was asphyxiation, which he said would have required just one kilogram of pressure.
He said the absence of deeper haemorrhages in the neck muscles, fractures or scratches to the skin “would favour consensual” choking.