By Gavin Mackintosh-
An Essex man is struggling with the pain of losing both his wife and unborn child in a tower block fire in 2016. after hearing of another fire that occurred in an East London tower block.
Stuart Abrey 43 should be celebrating thirteen years since meeting his wife, Khabi Abrey, but instead, exactly five years since her death, he is shocked and saddened all the more after hearing of the latest fire in London last weekend.
Mr Abrey’s wife died on May 9, two days after a fire that was set outside their front door by a man with mental health issues, in a tower-block in Westcliff, Essex.
As a result of this, any fire related story, like the one in East London, or killings committed by people with mental health issues, is all the more poignant and saddening.
This makes every story of fires, like the one in East London, or murders committed by people with mental health issues, like that of politician, Jo Cox, all the more poignant and saddening. It highlights the tragic story of his own family caught up in a fire.
Khabi was just 30 years young and eight months pregnant with their first child, KaRa at the time of the disaster.
Losing his pregnant wife and their unborn baby was a torturous experience for him, made all the more difficult by the fact the fire was started by a neighbour of the couple, Lillo Troisi, 52, who admitted to starting the fire after obtaining a large can of fuel from a local garage at the behest of a voice in his head.
Since the incident, a lot more light has been shed on the circumstances and events that led up to that fateful day and the inquest is on-going.
Stuart explained, “It is very difficult to move on with life when you lose someone in such tragic circumstances. It affects me everyday.
”Losing a loved one is so difficult to come to terms with as it is, but it hurts all the more when you know their deaths were preventable. I never want to hear of this happening again.
Seeing images of fire fighters and seeing the black smoke makes me shudder…for the people there and their families…and then because it reminds me of the fear and pain I imagine my wife and unborn baby had to endure…it’s truly frightening, especially knowing it can happen again somewhere.
Coping
Stuart say that every day is still a struggle, but he says he believes very strongly that his wife and daughter are alive and well in spirit, as he claims to have had many signs from them that assure him they are okay where they are now, which helps him carry on.
Stuart explained: Just before the fire , Khani asked me if I was still getting the pain in my chest that I had been experiencing the pain on my left side. I told her I did. She told me not to worry, tha she was going to heal it for me. Then about three days after she had passed, I woke up with no pain.
After six years of suffering with it, the pain is gone. I really believe that from wherever she is, she healed me.”
Details of this and other experiences are intimately shared in his book, “The Comforter” by “Judah JAH Love,” available from Amazon and Waterstones, Southend.
“I had to write this book to give comfort to anyone experiencing the pain of loss. It has helped me maintain focus in what I believe ti be the truth about survival beyond the flesh.
Without this belief, everything will be difficult and difficult to live with.”
Prevention
”I have tried to give my life meaning ever since losing the love of my life.
I want to identify what can be done to prevent anything like this happening again…I want to feel confident that we have all done our best in the name of safety for the residents of the flats and of the wider community…and in the name of justice for Khabi and baby KaRa.”
Avoidable
Stuart clearly feels passionately about this and went on to say, “It’s so sad to learn how easily this all could have been avoided. We must make sure this doesn’t happen again…the pain is so awful…I wouldn’t want anyone to feel how I feel or see what I’ve seen, it’s haunting and heart-breaking.
Inquest Delay
Lock-down delayed the inquest which had already been rescheduled having been adjourned due to late submissions from interested parties. When asked if he found this frustrating, Stuart admitted, “Everything happens for a reason and, to be honest, it’s good it’s taken so long as it’s given me a chance to heal some more and get strong enough to cope with the stress and emotions of it all.
“I have read reports from the police and mental health services and it is encouraging to see that a lot of positive changes have been made.”
Stuart is optimistic that more good things will come about as a result of the inquest, which is set to conclude in August.